When your adult child says you are gaslighting them, it can feel like an accusation against your entire character as a parent.
You may immediately want to defend yourself, explain what really happened, or prove that your memory is accurate. But when both people are fighting to establish the “correct” version of the past, the conversation often becomes more painful and more disconnected.
In this episode, Tina explains what gaslighting actually means, why the term is sometimes used too broadly, and what your adult child may be trying to communicate underneath the accusation. You will learn how to take their experience seriously without agreeing that you intentionally manipulated them or surrendering your own memory of what happened.
This episode will help you move out of shame, fear, and defensiveness so you can respond with greater steadiness and curiosity.
You will learn:
- Why being accused of gaslighting can feel like a threat to your identity as a loving parent
- The difference between deliberate gaslighting and two people remembering the same event differently
- What your adult child may really mean when they say they feel gaslighted or unheard
- What to say in the moment instead of defending every detail or shutting down
- How to acknowledge your adult child’s experience while still holding onto your own perspective
You do not have to accept an inaccurate label in order to listen well. You also do not have to prove your child wrong before the relationship can move forward.
Two people can love each other deeply and still remember the past differently. What matters most is whether both experiences can be heard without turning the conversation into a battle over who is right.
Share this episode with another parent who may be struggling to understand a painful conversation with their adult child.